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I went to work the other day, and several people asked me if I’d been on holiday or gone to a spa – as I looked refreshed. It was a feeling that I remembered but it felt new and exciting, I had energy, I felt like myself  and all it took was one good night’sContinue reading

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I love my wedding ring. My husband was a true romantic. He proposed to me on the Isla Mujeres – the Island of Women near Mexico, searched the jewellery district in New York to find me a vintage engagement ring and then had my wedding ring made for me by a small family run jeweller in Hatton Gardens.Continue reading

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After you lose someone you love, you redefine and rediscover yourself. This year I have to check in with myself regularly and remind myself to do new things, to keep doing fashion shoots, to go to the gym and just to just keep going. Even if there are moment that I feel like why bother, I know I justContinue reading

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This past year I’ve found it hard to blog. Grief really messes with your concentration and focusing is really a challenge. The other difficulty was grief and fashion just don’t seem to go together but they are both a big part of my daily life right now and I’ve wanted to find a way forContinue reading

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One of my friends shared a very kind piece of advice. She lost her mum nine years ago. I’ve known her for years and she never mentioned this before. There are so many of my friends who have lost family members & close friends who never mentioned it and I never thought to ask…before. When youContinue reading

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In a few days it will be the first anniversary of my husband’s death. I’m not sure what one does. I don’t how to prepare or what to expect. Throughout the year we remember those we lost but a death anniversary triggers our emotions. I didn’t know what to expect but I thought I’d cover myselfContinue reading

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So many people were sympathetic when my husband died, we are all shocked when someone we know dies and we want to share our condolences. People want to be kind but they fumble and most of us don’t know what to say, and no ones really knows how vulnerable you are when the person you’re in love withContinue reading

This year I will have moved twice. After my husband died I didn’t want to stay in our flat. He unexpectedly died at home and I found him, I never stayed there over night again. I gave away all our furniture, our bed, sofa, tables, lamps, even the toaster to different charities. I kept my teacupsContinue reading

I was on radio show a few weeks back with DJ, Tasty Lopez (aka. Laura Noir) and Something About Magazine editor, Alexandra Zagslsky, with our host Karen Munnis of FashionRadio for K2K. We talked about fashion, Glastonbury, denim, dj sets, and social media and how its influenced our work. It was so much fun listening to one another’s stories andContinue reading

My heart is racing and is does’t seem to be slowing down. I’m not sure if I’m living in panic mode or it’s just this moment – this particular moment. I can not believe this day is here. I tried to anticipate it, to prepare to make plans but some how I couldn’t and theyContinue reading

I thought a holiday would give me a break. I love my work and never feel the need to get away from it, especially when I travel as I’m always looking for things that will inspire my creativity and keep driving me to explore new ideas. What I didn’t understand until I was sitting onContinue reading

Holiday I’m off to the airport. It’s not for work this time which somehow would be so much easier. It’s not an unusual thing to go on a holiday. It’s rather normal but life now is my new normal and no matter which way you look at it, it’s hard. Today is my first soloContinue reading

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When I got married I didn’t know that my face would hurt from smiling and after my husband’s death I didn’t know that it would hurt from crying. Seven months after my husband’s death I still wake up with a tear stained face and I can feel the salt stained tears tighten on my skin. It’sContinue reading

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Step 1 – Massage and Aroma Therapy No one tells you about the physical pain of grief. Actually no one really tells you anything about grief, and it’s impossible and pointless to prepare. It’s like a secret club but once you’re in, you’re in and there’s no turning back. Grief is overwhelming. For weeks IContinue reading

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Survivor’s Guilt This is a place I never expected to be. Guilty for having fleeting moments of happiness. My husband always said that we would live into our 80’s and die within days of one another, like his grandparents did. He was a true romantic. It did sound nice – but it was always something way, way inContinue reading

Valentine’s Day Until Death Do Us Part Until death do us part – you don’t stop loving someone when they die. You might be heart broken but you don’t stop loving them. Recently someone told me that I have suffered an utterly profound and devastating loss and yes, I thought to myself I really have.Continue reading